At a super-center store in Baltimore today, Ben Carson and Walmart’s CEO Douglas Mcmillon announced that they will be teaming up to launch the Carson "inner-city" clothing collection. The initial product will be a belt that is both knife proof and bullet proof. McMillon said, “Ben couldn't get his belt idea funded on Shark Tank so he came to us and we loved it.” Asked if Walmart is having clothing-related discussions with other politicians, McMillon said, “We are considering a Hillary Clinton rebel flag pant-suit.” This news sent retailers and politicians … [Read more...]
Politics
News Flash: Debate Shocker. Chase Utley Breaks Hillary Clinton’s Leg
In a stunning development at last night's Democratic presidential debate in Las Vegas, Chase Utley broke Hillary Clinton's leg. A still clearly shaken Anderson Cooper said, "Hillary was in the middle of answering one of my softball questions on the Benghazi hearings, when all of a sudden Utley comes barreling in from stage left, slides hard into her podium and sends her flying." Despite Mrs. Clinton rolling on the ground and clutching her leg in pain, the debate continued. Bernie Sanders stated, "This is the clearest example yet of Hillary flipping and flopping. … [Read more...]
News Flash: Hillary Quits Race To Become A Bartender
Fresh off rave reviews for her role as "Val the Bartender" on NBC's Saturday Night Live, Hillary Clinton announced today that she is quitting politics and taking a job at Buffalo Wild Wings. Sources say that Clinton has officially changed her legal name to Val and has accepted a late night bartending position at the company's Newington New Hampshire location. Asked why this sudden change in plans, a senior Clinton official explained, "We were having zero luck getting Hillary liked as a Presidential candidate, but as a bartender her numbers are off the charts. This … [Read more...]
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