At a fundraiser today in Miami, Hillary Clinton angrily condemned Mitt Romney for his comments about Donald Trump.
Said Clinton, “I am furious at Mitt. I begged him to make a similar speech about me but he refused.”
A Clinton spokesman said, “We haven’t given up hope. If we can only get Mitt to completely diss Hillary, then she can start measuring the drapes at the White House.”
In Portland, Maine, a smiling Donald Trump told a raucous crowd, “Tough luck Hillary, you just don’t have what it takes to get a Romney insult.”
Trump continued, “I am going to send Mitt a big thank you present for giving such a spectacular speech this morning.”
When asked what the gift might be, Donald said, “I’m thinking either a box of Trump steaks or an advanced degree from Trump University in how not to be a choke artist.”
In response, Romney just tweeted, “Tell Donald not to bother. I doubled majored in stiffness and losing elections at BYU.”
Romney and Trump surrogates are also in a fierce battle over which billionaire is more a man of the people.
Brian Adams, a senior Trump spokesman said, “Donald doesn’t care if he has to get in his gold Rolls Royce to take his message to the people.”
Adams continued, “And unlike Rubio, Donald won’t have to sit on two phone books to see out the front window.”
Meanwhile, this afternoon, President Obama held a White House press conference.
When asked what he thought about today’s historic developments, President Obama said, “Man am I glad I wasn’t born in this country.”
“In 249 days, 18 hours and 22 seconds I am on a plane to Nigeria.”