At the Faith And Family Conference in Greenville, South Carolina, Donald Trump announced that if he were elected President, the Confederate flag would fly permanently over the White House.
Said Trump, “Look people, this flag represents everything I stand for.”
He continued, “It celebrates not only our rich heritage but also bigotry, racism and xenophobia.”
Chad Mills of Columbia TV station WIST said, “The crowd went crazy, particularly when Trump began yelling, “Let’s make the Confederacy great again.”
Billy Simms, a conference attendee, said, “He now has my vote.”
When asked why, Simms replied “Trump is one of us, except that he is rich, liberal, from the north and doesn’t believe in family values.”
Political pundits thought this was a shrewd move by Trump.
Matt Moore, Chairman of the South Carolina Republican Party said, “Look, the key to winning here is getting the evangelical vote. This is completely consistent with their values.”
Buddy Witherspoon, a key evangelical activist and recent Trump supporter, agreed. “As I tell my flock, “Just ask yourself, How would Jesus vote- if he owned a plantation and was in favor of segregation.”
At a campaign breakfast at Little Pigs Barbecue, Jeb Bush was asked for his thoughts on Trump’s latest bombshell.
Bush responded, “My brother forgot his Garanimals so my mom is still picking out his outfit at the hotel.”
“When mom arrives, she will tell me what my position is.”
At a press conference held just fifteen minutes ago in Spartanburg, Donald Trump was asked what he would have done to beat the North as President of The Confederacy.
“Easy,” Trump said, “Build a wall.”
In related news, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, were last seen at a local Wal-Mart wrestling each other for the last Roberto Y Lee Spanish-speaking Bobblehead doll”