In a major policy shift, Donald Trump announced this morning that if elected President, he will send all illegal aliens to Mars and not to Mexico as previously planned.
Asked what led him to this new position, Trump said, “First of all, even the brain surgeon agrees that there is life up there. Also, my people just gave me the numbers on what the wall would cost without immigrant workers and it is simply outrageous.”
According to someone close to the Trump campaign, the estimate for the big, beautiful door alone was $123 million. Said Trump, “What kind of idiot CEO would even think about paying that much for a door? Who do they think I am, Carly Fiorina?”
A reporter from the Manchester Union Leader asked Trump for the logic behind his new policy proposal. Trump responded, “I have always said that I will send home all those who are in this country illegally. People, let me ask you, isn’t Mars the most logical and compassionate place to send Aliens?”
A Trump spokesman commented, “This is the type of thinking only a Wharton education gives you.”
News of Trump’s announcement spread quickly. At his next campaign stop, Trump supporters were already wearing “Make Mars Great Again” baseball caps.
Two republican candidates weighed in on Trump’s new proposal.
Jeb Bush issued a very brief statement, saying, “Stuff happens.”
Chris Christie said the plan was unrealistic. “Tell Trump to wait and see what happens when his space ships try to get over the George Washington Bridge.”