In a major policy shift, Donald Trump announced this morning that if elected President, he will send all illegal aliens to Mars and not to Mexico as previously planned.
Asked what led him to this new position, Trump said, “First of all, even the brain surgeon agrees that there is life up there. Also, my people just gave me the numbers on what the wall would cost without immigrant workers and it is simply outrageous.”
According to someone close to the Trump campaign, the estimate for the big, beautiful door alone was $123 million. Said Trump, “What kind of idiot CEO would even think about paying that much for a door? Who do they think I am, Carly Fiorina?”
A reporter from the Manchester Union Leader asked Trump for the logic behind his new policy proposal. Trump responded, “I have always said that I will send home all those who are in this country illegally. People, let me ask you, isn’t Mars the most logical and compassionate place to send Aliens?”
A Trump spokesman commented, “This is the type of thinking only a Wharton education gives you.”
News of Trump’s announcement spread quickly. At his next campaign stop, Trump supporters were already wearing “Make Mars Great Again” baseball caps.
Two republican candidates weighed in on Trump’s new proposal.
Jeb Bush issued a very brief statement, saying, “Stuff happens.”
Chris Christie said the plan was unrealistic. “Tell Trump to wait and see what happens when his space ships try to get over the George Washington Bridge.”
hahaha I love it
Doug. The BBC is currently running a story that Mr. Trump has invited Hilary Clinton to run as his VP, apparently he also invited her to do a whole bunch of other stuff as well but let’s leave that aside for the present. Can you comment on this and can you also comment on a story that the Guardian is running regarding some changes to your constitution, I believe it is the amendment that gives you the right to arm bears. Any information appreciated.
Richard Perlman says
From: The Atkin Files <firstname.lastname@example.org> Reply-To: The Atkin Files <email@example.com> Date: Saturday, October 3, 2015 1:52 PM To: Richard Perlman <firstname.lastname@example.org> Subject: [New post] News Flash: Trump’s New Immigration Plan To Send Aliens To Mars.”
Doug Atkin posted: ” In a major policy shift, Donald Trump announced this morning that if elected President, he will send all illegal aliens to Mars and not to Mexico as previously planned. Asked what led him to this new position, Trump said, “First of all, even the br”
Where were you when they filled John Stewarts chair?
Doug Atkin says
As far as we know, Trump has not asked Hillary to be his VP. In regards to guns, the 2nd amendment is interpreted that Americans have the right to bear arms (apparently even 14 AK-47s) It is a crazy country
Doug Atkin says