Last night, in a stunning move, Lloyd Blankfein- Chief Executive Officer of Goldman Sachs- announced that his firm has acquired Bernie Sanders. Asked for the reasoning behind this move, Mr. Blankfein said, "We just can't allow someone with Sanders' economic views to become President." Blankfein added, "In my humble opinion and once again, I had to do God's work." A senior Goldman executive also commented. "Given that we already own Clinton, Trump, Cruz and Rubio, we had to protect ourselves against a Bernie Sanders win." Asked what happens if Sanders doesn't win, a … [Read more...]