After a bruising Super Bowl loss to the Patriots, the entire Atlanta Falcons team will be visiting Hillary Clinton’s home in Chappaqua.
Mrs. Clinton confirmed the visit.
Seen sitting at the bar of her local Applebees, crying over a beer while watching the November 9th episode of CSI Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Ohio, Mrs. Clinton said, “Just like election night, I turned off the TV early thinking it was a blow-out.”
She continued, “Then Bill wakes me up to say that Bannon just sent a congratulatory Tweet to the Patriots.”
“I told Bill that it must be fake news and to turn on Fox to get the real story.”
Matt Ryan, Atlanta’s Quarterback, confirmed that he did talk to Mrs. Clinton. “She said we now have a lot in common and invited us all to Chappaqua for a day of therapy and hiking.”
“I talked to my teammates and they said, “Just like Hillary, we have to do something to get our minds off of losing to two A-holes.”
This development is not without controversy.
On The Situation Room, Wolf Blitzer asked Kellyanne Conway what she thought of the Clinton visit.
Conway replied, “The Falcons won and will be visiting the White House.”
When Blitzer showed her a picture of the Patriots celebrating, Conway said, “Those are your facts Wolf.”
She went on, “This is exactly why Americans don’t trust the media. Our supporters know that a red-state team won the game, just like they know about the Bowling Green massacre.”
Wearing a gold embossed bathrobe, poolside at his Mar-A-Largo estate, Mr. Trump weighed in. “Look folks. the dishonest media barely covered Sunday’s game.”
“And we have a list of 50 other Super Bowls that they didn’t cover at all.”‘
In related news, James Comey and Vladimir Putin were seen together collecting their winnings at the Caesar’s Palace sports book in Las Vegas.