According to our exhaustive research at high-end farm stands, nightclubs and restaurants, the HFPI (Hampton Food Price Index) is at an all-time high.
Experts believe that this is a sure sign that the Dow will continue to rise.
The HFPI is now at 2,812. It is comprised of two pounds of lobster salad, six farmstand pies, bottle service at the hottest nightclub and a tuna roll from a Sag Harbor restaurant.
At Loaves and Fishes in Sagaponick, the 31 year old third wife of a long time wall street veteran said, “Lobster salad is up to $100 per pound.”
She continued, “I just had to get it though, as my 8 year old twin boys simply won’t eat anything else.”
Her husband whispered to us, “The good news for me is I just bought S&P futures, the bad news for her is that the lobster salad will be subtracted from the pre-nup.”
At Round Swamp Farm in Bridgehampton, all pies were sold out by 2 pm. Said a 17 year old cashier, “We just increased the price of all flavors to $30 and we can’t keep them on the shelves.”
She continued, “This is definitely a great sign for the market. I just took all my money and put it in Bitcoin.”
“A Goldman trader said to buy them so it can’t go down.”
At Easthampton airport, an upset William Park III, told us, “I am really pissed off. My life really sucks.”
Mr. Park’s spirits were lifted when, upon getting into a limo, his long-time chauffeur said, “Don’t worry William, I brought you a $32 Sen tuna roll to cheer you up.”