Late last evening, in a surprising development, Melania Trump was seen sneaking on to the Presidential helicopter, which rushed her out to Andrew’s Air Force Base so that she could make a tight connection to the 2:30 am red-eye flight to Ljubljana.
Many commentators and inaugural ball attendees were not surprised by this development, particularly given Melania’s body language and actions throughout the day.
At the Military Ball, Wilma Johnson of the Alabama National Guard, said, “I was in the ladies room and saw Melania lacing up a pair of Nike running shoes under her gown.”
“She also had a suitcase opened which contained a redlined prenuptial agreement and wads of thousand dollar bills.”
Contacted this morning in Melania’s hometown of Sevnica, her childhood friend, Mirjana Jelancic said that this was all easy to explain. “Melania’s ten-year, $35 million deal with Donald ends January 30th.”
“They have been in the middle of tense renewal negotiations. The main sticking point is that Melania wants out of her no escape clause.”
Melania’s cousin added, “Our whole town was praying for Melania on election night and we were very confident that Americans would have the good sense not to elect her husband.”
She continued, “Melania called me that evening and was absolutely ecstatic that Hillary had gotten more votes than Donald.”
“Then I had to break the news to her about the electoral college. Melania kept saying to me, “Mirjana, you are so funny- always playing practical jokes on me.”
“She was crushed when she found out it was true.”
Upon hearing the news, President Trump said, “Not a problem folks. I have already updated my profile on MyRussianMatch.com.”