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New Tests Reveal That Kennedy Has More Than Dead Worms In His Head.

As CNN reported yesterday, Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. admitted to having a brain-eating worm in his head. Said Kennedy, “A worm got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died.” This, he said, caused significant memory loss and brain fog.

According to Doctors at Mt. Sinai Hospital and The Bronx Zoo as well as numerous Kennedy family members, new tests have come to light showing that Kennedy has additional animals in his body.

On the condition of anonymity, one Kennedy family member said, “Given the crazy sh*t that this guy has been saying on the campaign trail, I knew it had to be more than worms.” He added, “My dog has worms and he makes more sense than Robert.”

A noted Harvard trained Neurologist said, “I have seen Kennedy’s recent body scans and worms should be the least of his concerns.” He continued, “The poor guy has a veritable petting zoo up there.”

A number of Kennedy supporters have called this fake news. At a rally in Memphis Tennessee, John Bunting said, “We think having an Ivy League medical degree disqualifies you from making an accurate diagnosis.” He continued, “Show the scans to the pillow guy, he knows more about heads than anyone.”

Some have suggested that Kennedy should spend time being evaluated by a Zoologist but that might prove to be difficult. When asked if he would be willing to take Kennedy in, the Head of The Bronx Zoo said, “We can’t take him here, it will make all the other animals crazy.”

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