Donald Trump, at a campaign stop at the Creationist Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, announced that he will be making a series of movies- “The Corinthians Trilogy.”
“Look folks, yesterday at Liberty University I said “I cherish God, the bible and especially 2-Corinthians.”
He continued, “So I got to thinking, why not make a movie out of it.”
A Trump spokesman said that Donald did not see Corinthians 1 so, if it was ever made, it must have bombed in the theaters.
Trump says that he is impatient to get the project moving, “I am trying to cut a deal with the author of Corinthians 1 and 2 but no one seems to know where to locate the guy.”
Said Trump, “It probably was a ghost writer so I am offering $3 million to anyone that can find him. I also want him involved in part 3.”
Trump also explained who will be involved in the project. “My buddy Carl Icahn is bankrolling it, I want Spielberg as director and Mel Gibson to be my right-hand man.”
Other candidates weighed in on this latest development.
Marco Rubio said it was no wonder Trump would like a project where, “As written in 2nd Corinthians, “God warns against false teachers who were spreading heresy.”
As for Jeb Bush, Trump is desperately trying to get him to play the role of Paul.
“Jeb is perfect. Can’t you just hear him reciting, “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties.”
Finally, at a campaign stop in Toronto, Ted Cruz said that the author of the Corinthians must be a direct descendant of someone with New York Values.
“Do I need to be more clear. You know, those in the money-changing business, the media and the people that attend synagogue.”