At a news conference last night in Las Vegas, Frank Farenkophf and Mike McCurry, Co-Chairs of The Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD), said that the format for tonight’s event has been changed.
Said McCurry, “We want the debate to be more aligned with the tone of this election and CPD’s mission.”
Farenkophf explained, “As you may know, The CPD was established in 1987 to ensure that debates, as a permanent part of every general election, provide the best possible information to viewers and listeners.”
“Team Trump was adamant about including the swimsuit competition for the female candidates. Team Clinton agreed but only if Billy Bush was named the debate’s moderator.”
Late last night, reporters reached Donald and Billy aboard Mr. Trump’s lavish new campaign bus. Said Trump, “Folks, Crooked Hillary is a 3 on a good day. Hell, she couldn’t even win a pants-suit competition. Not a chance.”
Mr. Bush chimed in. “I am honored to be the moderator. My only conditions were; absolutely no microphones and that Donald can bring his Tic Tacs.”
As to the Hackathon, Clinton said, “I can guarantee that I will not win this portion of the debate.”
“I don’t even know how to use email.”
She continued, “I also gave on Donald’s demand that this section of the debate be translated in Russian.”
McCurry also announced that the event is being moved to the The Mirage.
When asked why he picked The Mirage, McCurry said, “Because I can’t believe what we are seeing here is actually real.”
He continued, “The Mirage arena also has more capacity, which is a good thing, because we had to reserve the first fourteen rows just for the female accusers of each candidate.”
Asked if there was anything both campaigns did agree on, McCurry responded, “Yes. No lie detectors.”