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News Flash: Donald Launches New “Trump Phone” Business

At a joint press conference today in Atlanta, Donald Trump and Samsung announced that they have teamed up to launch a new line of cell phones.

The initial model is named The Klan and will only come in white.

A cheerful Mr. Trump said, “Black was simply out of the question. If you like that color, talk to Hillary.”

Samsung President, Oh-Yung Kwon, commented, “Given his success with Trump Steaks, Trump University, Trump Mortgage and Trump Casinos we are very excited to partner with Donald on this venture.”

When Trump was asked about the features on the new phone, he commented, “The morons at Samsung- who I cherish- wanted a number of things that I thought were ridiculous.”

He continued, “So I sent my buddy Carl Icahn to China to negotiate, and folks, we got just what we wanted.”

When Kwon pointed out that Samsung is located in Korea and not China, Trump turned to him and said, “Who cares, you all look the same.”

Industry analysts have panned the new product.

Martin Goldstein, Telecom Analyst at Goldman Sachs, said, “The k-Phone has glitches. For example, it does not allow calls to or from Mexico and every 30 seconds the device shouts out personal insults or random policy positions.”

When asked what he likes best about the device, Trump said, “This phone is tremendous, It only geolocates businesses run by poorly educated people and, for illegals, the map application  gives directions just to Tijuana.”

A reporter from Telemundo questioned Trump on whether any of his phones would appeal to Latinos.

Trump responded, “Next month we will be rolling out the Little Marco. The reason for the delay is that we can’t get the tiny thing to stop sweating.”

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