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News Flash: Obama Picks Trump For Supreme Court Nominee

In a surprising move this morning, President Obama tapped Donald Trump as his nominee for the open Supreme Court seat.

Political pundits say that this is a shrewd move and certainly puts Republicans in a pickle.

Senator Mitch McConnell agreed, “As a party, we now need to decide which is worse- Trump as Justice or President.”

McConnell continued, “On the plus side, Donald being Justice takes his tiny little hands off of the nuclear button.”

“On the down side though, can you imagine having to put up with Justice Trump for life.”

Political analysts feel that Trump’s confirmation hearing will go smoothly. Said CNN’s Gloria Borger, “As an example, Senate conservatives will like Trump’s view on abortion and Senate liberals will like his other view.”

In a rare occurrence, an existing Justice commented on a pending judicial appointment.

Justice Anthony Kennedy said, “This will create havoc. All court decisions are going to be four votes against, four votes in favor and one vote huuuge.”

As for Trump, he says that he is excited. “People, I will make a tremendous Justice. I will make so many winning decisions it will make your head spin.”

Asked who he would consult regarding important upcoming cases, Trump said, “I’m speaking with myself, because I have a very good brain.”

When pressed for more details, Trump commented, “OK.  David Duke on social issues, Sheriff Joe on immigration and my good friend Carl Icahn on trade deals.”

Asked what he would do to change the culture of the court, Trump said, “Simple. That Latina, Sonia Sotomayor will be deported, our robes will be changed from black to white and Clarence Thomas will only have 3/5 of a vote.”

“And one more thing. I can’t wait to sue Harvard University.  They have been issuing bogus degrees since 1636.”

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