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News Flash: Republicans In Pitched Battle For “Poorly Educated” Vote.

Exit polls from the Nevada caucus show that the highly coveted “Poorly Educated” vote is the key to victory in the race for the Republican nominee.

Nate Silver of political analysis site 538.com explains, “The number of poorly educated Republican voters has grown from 18% to 45% over the last five years.”

He continued, “Trump has a commanding lead with this group but nothing is guaranteed.”

“For example, Trump claims that even if he murdered someone, the poorly educated would vote for him. Our data suggests only 72% of them would.”

Tea-Party leaders are scratching their heads over Trump’s huge lead with this critically important constituency.

Said a Party spokesman, “We gave them everything they wanted. We fought against providing folks access to affordable health care. We kept their wages low and cut funding for public education.”

Speaking to a cheering crowd of high school drop-outs in Dallas Texas, Donald Trump said, “I cherish you. What the Tea-Party missed is that you folks are dumber than anyone but me thought.”

The other Republican candidates are fighting hard to gain the poorly educated’s support.

Earlier today, Ted Cruz said, “On day one as President, I will pass a law that requires every US citizen to carry a semi-automatic weapon and I also commit to lowering the minimum wage.”

Speaking to a group of Walmart employees in Laredo, Marco Rubio said, “I am happy to announce that for a donation as low as five dollars to my campaign you can go online and pick the actual illegal immigrant you wish to deport.”

“We will then keep you up to date on the plight of your chosen deportee.”

A Rubio spokesman said, “It is kind of the reverse UNICEF. For only pennies a day you can help put individuals into poverty.”

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