In a stunning move today, The Clinton Foundation acquired Snapchat for eighteen billion dollars.
Snapchat is a mobile app that allows users to send and receive messages, photos and videos that disappear as soon as a recipient views them.
The acquisition was financed by major Foundation donors, including the Governments of Saudi Arabia and Libya as well as numerous South American businessmen.
John Battle, a senior internet analyst at Goldman Sachs commented, “This product is a no-brainer for the Clintons to own and frankly, I don’t understand why they didn’t buy it years ago.”
Battle continued, “Come to think of it, with all of Goldman’s pending SEC investigations, our derivatives traders should have been using Snapchat ages ago.”
DNC Chairman, Donna Brazile denied that the Snapchat acquisition had anything to do with either Hillary’s email scandal or problems at The Clinton Foundation.
Said Brazile, “The Clintons and their foundation are all about transparency– they just want it to disappear immediately.”
Upon hearing the news, Donald Trump walked out of an African-American outreach event at the Greenwich Country Club and seemed to go off message on the Twittersphere.
Silicon Valley was abuzz about what other tech companies the Clintons might acquire. An anonymous source told us, “Hillary nixed Airbnb when she found out Bill was doing lots of due diligence at multiple locations.”
A Clinton Foundation spokeswoman was clearly upset when Sean Hannity asked if the Foundation does any legitimate work.
“You mean besides helping stop the spread of AIDS and Malaria around the world.”
She continued, “And Sean, why don’t you ask the Trumps how much charitable work they do.”
At a campaign event in Youngstown, Donald Trump Junior responded:
“Lots. My dad has a long history of turning very successful companies into not-for-profits.”