Search
Close this search box.

Newsflash: Marjorie Taylor Greene and Jasmine Crockett To Open a Salon

On the heels of yesterday’s contentious House Oversight Committee hearing where Greene and Crocket derided each other’s appearance, the two Congresswomen have announced that they will now be going into business together.

At the hearing, Greene criticized Crocket’s fake eyelashes while Crocket called Greene “a bleach blonde that has a bad built butch body.”

At a surprise press conference at a Bethesda strip mall this morning, they discussed the situation. Said Greene, “Things got a bit out of hand yesterday, but after looking at a recording of the hearing, Crocket was right.  I am having a bad hair year and I’m just glad someone had the courage to point it out to me.” Crockett concurred, “My lashes do look awful and they need fixing.” She continued, “So Marjorie and I have decided to take action by opening a salon together.”

When asked why they banded together and made this decision, Greene commented, “As you know, I care deeply about women’s issues and hair and lashes are at the top of the list.”

Crocker added, “We were sent here to do the people’s business.” She continued, “I thought it was also high time to reach across the aisle and when I did, Marjorie’s nails were awful.”

CNN contacted Donald Trump to get his reaction, Said Trump, “Maybe Crockett can give me an afro. If she does, all the blacks should be ashamed if they don’t vote for me.”

Upon hearing the news, Senator Lindsay Graham released a statement. “I am over the moon about this and just hope that they have a combination coiffe, mani-pedi and new lashes package.”

Subscribe today to get all the good stuff.

Help get the word out

How about a comment?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Subscribe today to get all the good stuff.