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As Hush-Money Trial Reaches Crescendo, Stormy Daniels Sues Melania Trump

At a press conference today outside the Players Gentlemen’s Club in New York City, Stormy Daniels and her attorney announced that they are taking legal action against Melania Trump to the tune of three million dollars.

Daniels’ lead counsel, Rob Barnes, of Celino and Barnes, said, “It has come to our attention that Melania’s husband has paid her over twenty five million dollars in hush money and therefore it is only right that Ms. Daniels receives a more equitable amount.”

Dan Trapinski of the Washington Post asked Ms. Daniels when she first received knowledge of the Melania payment. Ms. Daniels responded, “I got the call on Thursday while filming my latest movie.” She continued, “I was so upset that I couldn’t go on performing, even though my co-star, Buck Adams, pointed out that next up was our favorite pizza delivery scene.”

Bill Farley from the New York Post then asked Ms. Daniels how she came up with the three million dollar figure. Said Daniels, “We all know that Melania hasn’t been seen with The Donald for over a year and yet she gets twenty five million dollars.” She continued, “I get one hundred and thirty thousand and I had to sleep with him. What was I thinking?”

When asked why she didn’t sue for more, Daniels responded with a wink, “Two words, little hands.”

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