At a press conference last night at Wrestlemania in Oklahoma City, Donald Trump announced how he would finally decide on who his Secretary of State will be.
“Folks, Linda McMahon, my new appointee to lead the SBA has already helped me solve this problem. She is fantastic.”
Linda McMahon was the co-founder and former CEO of The World Wrestling Entertainment.
He continued, “I told her that I can’t decide between Romney or Giuliani and she brilliantly suggested that they wrestle for it.”
“So, at Saturday’s mega wrestling event we will have a steel cage match between Mitt and Rudy. Whoever wins, gets the job.”
McMahon said that Romney could be the favorite. “I looked at the tapes and as Donald has said for the past year, Mitt is a real choker- with a perfect choke hold.”
“On the other hand, when Rudy “The Italian Pit Bull” Giuliani gets that crazy look in his eyes and starts foaming at the mouth, he can be really dangerous.”
She continued, “And he hasn’t had his rabies shot in five years.”‘
Trump said that that many wrestling hall-of-famers will be in attendance and that it will be a bi-partisan event. “We even plan to include Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren and her favorite wrestler, “Chief Jay Strongbow.” (click to see tribute)
“Folks, I have also made sure that some of wrestling’s greatest will not be in attendance. Iran’s The Iron Sheik, The Samoan Brothers, Japan’s Mr Fuji and especially Mexico’s Tito Santana have all been deported.”
“And, although invited, Ben Carson said he will not go near the arena as he still hasn’t recovered from the “sleeper hold” Hulk Hogan’ put on him in 1986.”